Announcing Our New Coaching Addition
In a move that has the entire youth hockey world buzzing, the Hurricanes Youth Hockey Club has officially announced the hiring of NHL All-Star defenseman Brent Burns as their new head coach. Known for his iconic beard, booming slapshot, and larger-than-life personality, Burns will now bring his trademark energy and enthusiasm to the next generation of hockey players.
Club President Sandy “Zamboni” McNeil said the hire was a “no-brainer.”
“Honestly, we thought it was a prank when his agent called,” McNeil admitted. “But once we realized he was serious, we cleared space in the budget for beard shampoo and extra protein for the locker room snack bar. The kids are fired up.”
Burns, who has played over 1,300 NHL games, says he’s excited for the new challenge.
“I’ve battled against the best in the world, but I think wrangling a group of 9-year-olds at a 6 a.m. practice might be my toughest assignment yet,” Burns joked. “I can’t wait to pass on the love of the game—and maybe teach them how to grow playoff beards early.”
Parents in the program are already thrilled. One mom said, “My son just asked for a pet beard comb for Christmas.”
Burns will officially take the bench this fall, where he promises practices filled with energy, fun, and just a hint of wild chaos. “At the end of the day, hockey is about passion,” Burns said. “And maybe dinosaurs. Definitely dinosaurs.”

